


How Long?

by WrathfulGoddess



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Reader Has Powers, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-01-20 02:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12422985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrathfulGoddess/pseuds/WrathfulGoddess
Summary: I'm bad at summaries, sorry :(Reader is 15 when she is taken by men in a black van with Russian accents, is tortured until a dormant power becomes activated by the stress on her body and the fear for her life. Later on she meets a man with a metal arm and eyes bluer than the winter sky, there is a pain in them and something tells her a storm is growing in them.





	1. Confined

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to be very dark and touchy and maybe even triggering for awhile until things progress no actual rape takes place but it is introduced but hopefully you enjoy it anyway!

It happened so fast you didn't even have a chance to try to fight or run, you were walking home from study group when they pulled up and asked for directions. Innocent enough right? Wrong so very very wrong. "Excuse me miss but I'm looking for a 'Channing Lane'? Can you possibly help me, I'm trying to find my way to visit family." You'll never forget that first time you heard him, that thick Russian accent and dark hair. You were so young and naive that you thought nothing bad would ever happen to you, maybe if you lived in a more troubled neighborhood but this kind of thing was practically a scary story to you. 15 years old and you thought the world was waiting for you to take a grand adventure, not what was now in store for you here. "Yeah sure! So you head down this road until you hit the 4-way and then take a right until the light and--" Arms grabbed around your waist and pulled you into the van with a hand over your mouth, you felt the van jerk forward and then you felt a pinch on your neck and it went black. Waking up you had almost forgotten what happened until you realized you were on the cold floor and not your bed, you tried to stand but your legs felt so weak you collapsed back down. "Hello! Can someone hear me?! Hello?!" No use yelling since the walls around you looked like stone or concrete, you could feel how dry your throat was and wondered how long you had been sleeping. You stayed on there floor for who knows how long when finally someone came and opened the door. "Please, I need help." Your voice seemed to just float past them and the man looked at you from the doorway, he looked so familiar yet you couldn't place him. He started speaking in Russian to someone and moved towards you, lifting you up harshly and dropping you onto the chair. "What shall we call you huh? Maybe after, we see." You didn't understand what he meant but suddenly someone else came in wearing a lab coat. "Age please?" You tilted your head confused and then she asked again. "Age please I don't have all day." You shook yourself and forced you voice to come out. "I'm 15, what am I doing here? Where am I?" She wrote it down on the clipboard but didn't say anything to you again, instead she spoke to the man in Russian and then left. "She says you too young to participate but can do it in 3 years." You felt your heart fall into the stomach that was threatening to expell it's contents. "Wait 3 years?! You're going to keep me here for 3 years?" He seemed to think that was funny and shook his head chuckling. "No you silly creature, we plan to keep you longer than that." And then he walked back out and shut the door, you felt your eyes start to water and your throat hurt even more. 'More than 3 years? What could they possibly want from me?' You remained in the chair until you saw a door to your left and inside was a bathroom, correction it was just a toilet. Dropping your head into your hands you felt defeated, you ran your hands through your (h/c) hair and sighed. Looking to the right you saw a plate of metal sticking out of the wall with a thin mattress on it, you pulled yourself to your feet only to gently fall onto the wall bed. Closing your eyes you thought this was the worst that could happen, never imagining the even worse things they could do until it was too late...  
Waking up from your nap/sleep you looked over to find a small table with a tray on it and someone sitting in a chair. "Good to see you're awake, I was told to make sure you eat." The small man looked slightly rat like and mischievous, you slowly sat up and stared at him. "What's your name?" It wasn't the first question you had but it was the first to come out. "My name is Zola and I'm going to be making sure you are eating and not starving yourself lest we just hook you up to an IV and force feed you." Yeah okay now he's borderline psychopath. "Uhh okay, where am I?" You said slowly walking towards the table. "It matters not where you are so long as you behave all will infold in due time." You wondered if he was missing a few fuses and then looked to the tray, it was a white blob, green mush and a brown block. "What is this?" He simply smiled and gestured for you to eat it, cautiously picking up the spoon they gave you and trying a bit of the white and green. "That seems like potatoes and that seems like a vegetable." He smiled and shook his head. "Yes wonderful, now eat up and when you're finished knock on the door and someone will collect." You looked around and then realized. "Wait can I please have some water?" He turned around and smiled at you and spoke to a guard before leaving, staring at your 'food' you wondered if this was it for you when you felt someone looking at you. "Drink?" He seemed scared to even speak and when you reached out to take the cup he backed up. "Sit please." You put your hands down flat onto the table and looked into your lap, you heard his feet shuffle and then a little tap and he was gone. Looking up you saw he had placed the entire pitcher of water on the table with the cup. "Thank God!" You hurriedly reached for the glass and drank it down only to feel light-headed when it was gone. "Wait this isn't right." You felt yourself going sideways and couldn't stop and then you hit the floor and looking up you saw a few men standing, just staring at you and smiling. "What's going on?" Your voice was barely a whisper and then just as your eyes were closing they walked forward.  
You couldn't move but knew you were slowly waking up and then seemingly from nowhere came the pain. Screaming until you were sure blood could drip from the walls you opened your eyes, only to see those same men standing in front of you. Looking down towards the pain you saw you had blood running down your leg and it was coming from your ribs, just realizing now that your hands were tied above your head from a beam barely holding you up. "What are you doing? Please don't do this?" You felt the tears forming in your eyes as another man came up and dragged the knife down the other side of your ribs, pain flaring through you like a wildfire in dead grass you let out another scream. They were laughing in the background and passing bottles around. 'This is fun to them.' the thought burned through to the front of your head and fueled the fire of your hate. They each came up and cut your skin open, some did it slowly and some did it so quick it was like ripping off tape. You could hear your blood dripping onto the floor and feel the rope digging into your wrists, you hung there for a moment drifting between awake and near passing out. You heard someone start speaking so you opened your eyes and looked towards them, only to see something that scared you more than the knife. They were walking toward you and they cut the rope above you and let you drop to the floor, you held your hands to your chest and curled up. "Let us have some fun." You looked up and then suddenly your hands were grabbed from you and pulled you onto your back, another grabbed your ankles and held you down. "No wait please don't do this!" You tried to make them stop but they put something in your mouth, the tears running hot out of your eyes and you imagined them bursting into flames burning until nothing was left. You heard screaming and they let you go and the you could smell burnt hair, you opened your eyes and they were running around trying to put out each other's fires. They tried so hard but it was no use and the flames would not go out, you stared at the man who was just positioned above you and you wanted him to feel pain. You looked around and at each one of them and then raised your arms above you and instantly they all were consumed by flame, and then when the last screams quieted you dropped to your knees. "What have I done?" You looked around and saw black figures just laying around you. "You my dear have proven yourself useful, we weren't sure if you were the firestarter but now that we have you we will train you to use your gift." You looked at your hands and wanted to cry, everything was so normal before and now you thought you were going crazy. "Your name has been decided, now that your power has been proven and you will receive it tonight." You weren't able to speak or even look at him before he walked out and soon the woman in the lab coat was picking you up, wrapping a blanket around you and brushing you let hair out of your eyes. "I wish he had easier ways for this, I'm sorry you went through this." You looked at her and straight into her green eyes. "Can you help me please?" She looked down. "I may not agree with some of his methods but I'm not a traitor." You felt drained and confused and extremely thirsty now. "Traitor to who?" She looked back up at you and shook her head and pulled you towards a hallway, you walked for some time before reaching a medical bay. She tends to your cuts and burns and barely looks you in the eye before you finally have to ask. "What an I doing here? Why was I taken?" She sighs putting down the scissors but doesn't look at you. "You can't possibly betray anyone just by telling me what I'm here for." She shook her head and grabbed your now bandaged and stitched arm. "It is not my place to tell, you will find out tonight." Not another word was said in the walk back to your cell, not like you could get her to talk anyway but it was worth a shot. You sit on the thin hard mattress and think about what could've taken place had you not tapped into your 'gift', it suddenly dawns on you that you could've been raped and no one would know. Not your mom or dad or even the police, you could die here and no one would know where you are. You didn't even know where you are, your thoughts were cut short when a guard opened your door and in stepped the man from earlier. "It's time for your naming ceremony and introduction. You will come with me." You stood and he held his hands out to you but only to see he hand hand cuffs and you placed your wrists in them. "You're learning quickly not to be disobedient, that's good there's hope for you yet." You followed him through the doorway and down a hall until you reached an open area and was greeted by hundreds of soldiers, they parted down the middle so you could walk to the stage and when you reached the podium you stood to the side and waited. "Fellow soldiers I am pleased to finally introduce our newest recruit, she has come into her ability and has such earned her name. Welcome The Summer Solstice!" The soldiers and others in lab coats and technicians all cheered and then when silence fell he turned to you. "You'll make a wonderful addition to our cause." You finally looked to him and tilted your head. "Who are you people?" He smiled and you may have imagined it but part of his face didn't sit right. "I am Johann Schmidt and this, this is Hydra." Instantly the crowd raised their arms and yelled. "HAIL HYDRA!"


	2. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, second chapter!! so happy this has already gotten so many hits and kudos Thank you so much! hope you all enjoy this :)   
> Плохая форма, плохая осанка-Bad form, bad posture  
> Слишком молод-Too young  
> Я тоже не знаю своего имени.-I do not know my name either

You were taken back to your cell and all but thrown in after the handcuffs were removed and Zola was waiting for you. "I'm not eating or drinking anything else you give me." He smiled and shook his head. "Funny girl, that was just what happened initially. This time I will be joining you, we have much to talk about." You walked over cautiously and sat at the small table and sat down waiting. "What do we need to talk about?" You asked while moving the green mush around. "We need to go over your training routine and a doctor will be in later for other things." You were looking at the cup of clear liquid and he seemed to understand the hesitation, reaching over and grabbing your glass he brought it to his lips and took a small drink and set it back down. "Now will you please eat?" Shocked and confused you quickly nodded and grabbed your glass drinking it slowly, when you didn't feel the effects from before you drank it down and sighed. "Training for what?" He smiled at you and ate from his tray. "Training to hone your powers and also your physical training, we need to make up a schedule." You nodded and looked back at your food taking from the white and mixing it with the green. "I won't be participating in any training." You stood and walked over to your bed and sat down looking over at Zola. "Thank you for the water but I ask you to leave now." You laid down onto your back and stared at the ceiling and heard him chuckle. "My dear, you will learn to accept this as your new home sooner or later just as he did." You sat up and looked at him. "He who? who else is here prisoner as I am?" He kept eating for awhile and wiped his face with a napkin and returned his gaze to you. "Your trainer is not a prisoner and he has accepted his role as part of our mission, I will be back in the morning to deliver your breakfast." He walked out and left you feeling slightly hopeful for tomorrow.  _Maybe he can help me._  

It was a restless night and all you could think about with every toss and turn was ' _How long has he been here? A prisoner and stuck like I will be?_ ' You finally found sleep but it wasn't for long and then someone turned on the brighter lights, looking towards the door that was now opening an revealed a smiling Zola chatting in Russian with the guards. "Good morning dear! I know we may have met on less than better circumstance but hopefully, this shall help?" He walked into the middle of the room and waited as guards brought in your table and chairs along with another two that brought in trays covered with dome lids, setting them on the table as he sat down and thanked him in Russian and gestured for you to take the other chair. Raising from your bed you walked slowly over and sat down looking at the chrome lid suspiciously and then to Zola. "What is this?" He raised your lid and then his own and on the trays was an array of breakfast foods, a bowl of fruit along with an omelet with a glass of orange juice. "You will need your strength today to train and we can't have you collapsing from malnutrition or he may not want to attempt to train you again." You reached for the silverware and started eating and suddenly realized how hungry you really were and almost finished the entire plate until he cleared his throat, you looked back to him quickly reaching for your napkin and juice. "I'm sorry, I forgot you were there." You looked down at your lap and waited. "It is fine dear, now after breakfast, you will be taken to the physical training room to meet with your instructor and then shown to your ability class." You nodded and finished eating more slowly trying to savor it in case you upset someone and had to go back to the mush. He continued talking and you thought at some point you should actually pay attention but before you could ask any questions he stood to leave. "A guard will be by shortly to collect the table and such and then another with him to collect you." He tilted his head in goodbye and left.  _This should be fun._

A guard did come to 'collect' you and placed you in cuffs again before leaving the cell and taking a very insanely impossible route. "So you got a wife and kids at home?" You asked attempting to make some kind of social interaction, you didn't even get a sideways glance and he ignored you pulling you down a hallway. "I see well tell Kim and the boys I said 'Hello'." You said with a smile as he pushed you into an open door, glancing around at first you could see that your mystery instructor hadn't shown up yet and looked around. There were tables with a variety of weapons and wraps for gloves and some staffs, you were holding one of them when you felt the hair on the back of your neck raise. Swinging around with the staff in hand you attempted to hit whoever was behind you, only to have it blocked by a man with a metal arm. "Плохая форма, плохая осанка" You widened your eyes and looked at him. "I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian." It was his turn to look at you confused and then he smiled, slightly and then it was gone. "You have bad form and posture. Have you done any kind of training?" His voice was deep and thick with an accent, you just stared at him for a moment looking at his face and then you caught sight of his eyes behind his shoulder-length brown hair. You had never seen eyes so blue and full of pain and longing, it reminded you of when you first got here and if your eyes showed your emotions. "Well? Have you had any training?" You snapped back into reality and looked away and then back. "Uh no, sorry again the only thing I've done was some track in school." He looked confused for a moment and then looked at you as if studying you. "How old are you?" You sighed and chuckled nervously. "I'm 15 my birthday was a month from whenever they took me." He looked angry for a moment and frowned dropping his stance and walking away before pacing, you put the staff back onto the table and facing him. "Слишком молод." He looked back to you. "We will begin tomorrow at this time after you have eaten and then every day after, we will start slow."

He walked you to the next room to your "ability class" and stopped at the door turning around to leave you. "Wait! I don't know what to call you." He stopped and stayed facing away from you and dropped his head. "Я тоже не знаю своего имени." With that, he continued walking. You walked through the door and saw it had a few bits of wooden furniture placed around it. "Please, please come in. I've been told this is your language and that you have only used your power once yes?" You stared at the woman and nodded, not sure what else to say or do. "Alright so, we will basically be training you to be able to control your fire skills and, eventually be able to use your power through your hands to either make a line of targeted fire or to throw single fireballs." You paid attention to what the woman had to say and learned that it came from emotion right now and that she could teach you how to use it without fear being the main one, you were instructed to look at one of the pieces of furniture and concentrate. "When you first used your power you killed 6 men, your first emotion to use fire was fear." You closed your eyes and tried not to think of the men, no animals, you killed. "Open your eyes and look at the bookcase." You shook the thoughts away and looked hard at the wood, you felt her standing behind you. "The men that you killed, they hurt you and they cut into your flesh. Leaving scars on your body so now any man that looks at you is going to look at you with disgust." You felt your head start to hurt and your eyes filled with tears, balling up your hands into fists you continued to look forward. "They were going to force themselves on you, they were going to break you and then they would've most likely threw you in your cell and repeated the process over and over until you were nothing. Everything that made you who you are would be gone, just a stain on the world." You couldn't take it, you felt your blood boiling and your eyes were flowing with tears. "NOO!!!" You threw your anger and the next thing you knew her hands were on your shoulders. "You successfully aimed and used your power without fear, you will learn anger is a better emotion to control with." You cleared your eyes with your wrists and looked back to the bookcase, it was almost completely ash on the floor but the small pieces left were still burning.  _I've been turned into a monster._ "The man that brought me here, with the metal arm. What's his name?" She was sweeping what she could and looked back to you. "The Winter Soldier."


	3. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are going to be spending the morning training with him and hopefully, learn more about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there will be more 1-1 time between reader and bucky this chapter and I hope I don't disappoint.  
> Я прихожу собирать тебя.-I come to collect you.  
> кукла-doll  
> Отлично-Execellent  
> Вы работаете быстро.-you work fast  
> Такой молодой, такой красивый-So young, so beautiful.  
> Так чертовски красиво-So fucking beautiful

"Zola I just woke up why are you asking me these questions?" You groaned in annoyance while burying your face in your hands.

"Because it is important for us to know these things so we can accommodate your... Biological schedule."

You shook your head and sighed drinking some of what tasted like pear juice. "I'd need to see a calendar and to know what day it is."

He smiled and wrote a note down on a clipboard nodding his head. "Very well, someone will be by tonight to assist you." He started walking out the door when you yelled out to him. "Perhaps a woman please?"

He chuckled as he walked away and you stood to go to the bathroom using the toothbrush you found along with a small tube of toothpaste to brush your teeth. "Я прихожу собирать тебя." A man's voice came from the doorway and earned another groan from you. "You know very well I don't speak Russian."

You wiped your mouth and walked towards him holding your arms in front of you. 

 _I wonder if they will try to teach me._

He quickly cuffed you and started walking back towards the ridiculous hallways, you smiled and thought about trying to get him to talk again.

"So, How's Kim?" You didn't expect a reply but smiled when he showed slight irritation towards the question.

"I'm just gonna assume you have a wife named Kim, maybe a red-head, two boys who take after you in the looks but her personality." He sighed but stayed quiet.

You finally reached the same doorway and he released you before yet again pushing you into the room. "So damn pushy." You looked back to where the tables were yesterday and saw they were missing and instead there were clothes on the table with a pair of shoes. 

_Better not expect me to change in here._

"I've decided to train you through cardio first with a little hand to hand and then moving into weapons." The deep beautiful voice came from somewhere in the room and even though you couldn't see him, you knew he was close. 

"Is there a room I can change in?" You asked casually trying to see if you could pinpoint his location again by making him speak to you.

You heard a light chuckle and then a sigh. "We are in a room are we not?" 

_He didn't just say I should strip right here, did he?_

"I will not be stripping with you watching me." You said with a bit of shyness creeping out through your voice. You found him attractive but you are 15 and he's whatever age he is and that is wrong.

"кукла, I will leave the room if you wish but you must find me first." You could sense the smile in his voice and also hear the challenge in it. Fine, he wants to be that way I'll play along. You close your eyes and lower your breathing trying to focus on hearing his, it's faint but you can hear it and you can feel his eyes on you. Instinctively you spin in a circle slowly until you feel like your face is tickling, like air slowly blowing over it. You open your eyes and see that you're facing a wall. 

_Well, that worked... Not._

You heard him suppress a sigh but caught the beginning of it and looked up to see bright blue eyes looking down at you from the rafters of the ceiling.

"Отлично" You saw a slight smile on his lips and then he dropped down in front of you with ease.

"You have a good instinct, you must learn to fully trust it and learn to trust yourself as well." He continued to show the small smile and you couldn't stop staring at his face, he was so handsome and those eyes so blue you could drown in them like the sea. 

"I'll give you 5 minutes to change into the clothes and then I'll be back." He said with a sly smile and then he turned and walked out shutting the door behind him. 

_I could smack that look right off his face._

You turned back to the table and looked at the sizes of the clothes and shoes not even trying to think about how they knew your sizes for everything down to your bra, putting everything on as fast as you could he walked back in when you were putting the shoes on. 

"Вы работаете быстро. That's good, need to learn to keep it up." He was walking towards you and motioned for you to stand. "We will be running laps for the next two hours, working on your speed, endurance and, stamina." 

"TWO hours?! Are you insane?" You said a bit louder than intended but he didn't seem bothered by the outburst in fact, he seemed to expect it.

"Is that too much for your weak female body?" He was challenging you to back down and tell him you couldn't do it, to bad he didn't know that you were hard-headed.

"No not at all, I was just thinking it was to little." You looked straight ahead while speaking and didn't catch the approving smile he gave, tapping your arm he motioned to take position and then you were running. You let yourself wander away and thought about how you may never see your family again, the schooling you would miss and your friends. You let your anger push you to move forward and not to be brought down just because of that, you wanted to force yourself to be stronger instead of the small girl you were.

You ran laps around the room in different ways, first running around the perimeter and then back and forth from one side to the next and finally from one corner to the other across the room. You were so focused you didn't see that The Winter Soldier had climbed back up and was watching you from the rafters, you didn't even know he had stopped running and thought he was following you. After you finally slowed to a stop and collapsed onto your back to regain your breath you closed your eyes and started singing softly to yourself.

He watched you with an amazed look on his face while yours had the extremely recognizable look of determination, like you had something to prove to someone. He watched you run until you slowed and then laid down onto the floor and was about to say something to you along the lines of 'never giving up' when he heard it, heard you singing and he felt something flutter in his chest. A small bit of happiness he hadn't felt in a long time and thought he would never feel again, he let you lay there until you finishef your song and then watched as you slowly sat up and looked around.

"Такой молодой, такой красивый." He said quietly to himself.

You were looking around for the soldier and when you couldn't find him your thoughts went to the beginning of training and you looked up.

"There you are! What happened to you? Was my weak female body too much to keep up with?" You asked smiling up at him and then you watched as he sighed shaking his head and dropped down in front of you, he stayed crouched down like that for awhile and just stared at you.

"You looked like you were fine on your own so I let you be, you ran for about three hours." He said casually.

"Three hours? Why didn't you stop me after the two were up?" You said in disbelief.  _I could've gone longer though._

"You looked like you had something to work through so I thought it'd be best to work out your tension." He said as if it was obvious, which yeah it probably was so you just nodded in agreement and looked down at your lap.

"So, are you thirsty?" He asked and your head shot back up to look at his face while your body slightly backed away from him without permission. 

"Hey, easy. I just thought after all that running you would want some water." He said with a soothing voice lasced with confusion and concern. It took you a moment before you could calm your nerves enough to speak but eventually your voice came out. 

"Sorry I have some trust issues that presented when I was brought here, I have only come to trust Zola because he drinks from my glass before I do." Your voice was quiet and you looked up at him when he didn't respond and found him staring at you with concern.

"They drugged you?" He asked but didn't wait for you to reply before he spoke again. "They did it to me as well when I first came here, it's a control thing for them. I guess they had learned that if you fool someone once they will be more receptive the next time, they make you fear them at first." His voice was shakey and you could tell he was keeping something else from you.

"What did you say to me the other day when I asked you for your name?" You asked him with a soft voice to try and change this touchy topic.

He sighed before speaking. "I said "I do not know my name either." I don't remember much of anything before this life." He sounded so sad that you couldn't control the hand that reached out to touch the side of his face before it was to late, he flinched at the contact and you held your hand in the smae place and internally sighed when he leaned back into it. He closed his eyes and you saw his face melt into a more relaxed state and then felt his hand rise up to meet yours and turned even deeper into your touch.

"I have dreams sometimes of someone calling out the name Bucky to me, I don't know if that is my name or not but it feels right." He said after a few minutes and then sighed.

"I haven't felt a caring touch like this for a long, long time. It feels so nice." He had that shakey voice again so you looked up to see his ocean blue eyes staring at you rimmed with tears, you felt your own coming up to the surface and then brought his closer to you wrapping your arms around his neck and placing your legs over his waist and then around him. You felt him slightly tense up but then he dropped to the ground and wrapped his arms around you and he held you tightly, you could tell he really hadn't had this kind of contact in a long time and you were happy to give it to him.

After a few moments of the embrace you felt him slowly pulling away from you, a sad yet happy expression on his face.

"Thank you for that, I didn't even realize how much I wanted it." He said with a deeper voice than you've heard.

"Anytime, not like I have anywhere else to go than here." You responded back with a smile in your voice and just stared at each other for awhile.

"I should walk you to your next training room, you've been here a long time." He said but for some reason you felt like you could've stayed here with him for a long time, and he wouldn't even care.

He stood and lifted you up so you were standing with him and walked over to the table with you, grabbing your shoes and other clothes you then walked out and towards your other 'class'. 

As you stood outside the door you and him looked at each other.

"I'll see you in the morning, wear those clothes." He said with his normal voice and smiled.

"See you then. Bucky." Smiling as you turned into the other room, you didn't see the way his mouth dropped slightly as his name left your lips.

"Так чертовски красиво." And with that he walked away back towards his room.


	4. Fired Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training for work on your fire starting end with someone getting burned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am on a roll! And just a heads up there will probably be more Russian in the next coming chapters, Google translates for me and I have also started taking a few Russian courses online. If that interests you go to duolingo.com and learn Russian, it's free and fun :)  
> Your thoughts are in italics and Bucky's are bold
> 
> Переехать-Move

"There you are! I was starting to worry." You looked over to see her smiling at you, you took time to look at her today and found she was quite beautiful. Blonde hair down to mid back and green eyes.

"Yes the physical training was extended a bit, sorry about that." You said loud enough for her to hear while you walked over.

"No matter, today we are going to be setting something else on fire and then trying to see if you can conjure a small flame in your palm." She said with a carefree voice and gestured you over.

You stood on one side of the room and picked the table that was set all the way in the back, closing your eyes you tried to bring energy into your core.

"I'll only assist this time if you need it." She said softly and then backed behind you.

Bringing up memories that brought anger and pain you felt your hands ball into fists, opening your eyes you stared at the table as if it was it's fault you had so much pain and anger. 

The more you focused the more you saw the table start to have smoke rolling off of it, going back to the memory of the 6 men you blinked and when your eyes opened again the table was ash of the floor.

"Very good child, very good. I see your working on channeling your anger, very good. Now come sit with me." She sounded so pleased, it reminded you of when you came home with a good grade.

_I miss you mom._

Joining her on the floor you followed her when holding your hands palm up.

"Okay first we start with calming your breathing and focusing your power into your hands. It's alright if you don't do it today, no need to push to far." She said with slight caution in her tone.

_I am kinda glad she's scared._

Taking a deep breath and trying to put yourself in a meditative state you felt yourself relax.

"Very good, now imagine your body getting warmer and feel that running through your veins. Feel the warmth going through each limb and finally your arms, feel that warmth go into your palms and imagine then getting even warmer." Her voice was soft and soothing and almost comforting enough to fall asleep to.

You did what she was saying and soon enough you felt like your hands were holding a pan that was getting hot, hot enough that you tried to drop whatever was in your hands and then it was gone.

Opening your eyes you saw a single ball of orange flame dancing in each palm, you watched as they moved and swayed as if dancing just for you.

"It's so beautiful, I never noticed the way flames dance." You said quietly with amazement. You looked up at the woman and saw she was watching you.

"Very good, you can douse those now." She said a bit to fast for your liking.

_Did she not think you were going to be good enough to do this?_

Anger started forming in your heart and you stood up with the flames still flickering.

"Did you doubt I could do it? Were you hoping I wouldn't be able to?" You started hearing your anger coming through your voice and couldn't stop the way you felt your blood boiling.

She looked at you with scared wide eyes, backing away from you.

"Please just put the flames out now, lesson is over for today." She was definitely scared and for some reason that made you angry at yourself.

"Your people brought this monster out of me! Your people caused this!" You were shouting at her and felt tears running down your face.

In a swift movement you threw your palms out towards her and set her on fire, burning her until the screaming stopped and then you dropped your hands balling the back into fists and dousing the flames.

"You wanted this monster in me to escape." You said after a few minutes and then walked away towards the door. Seeing a couple guards running towards the room you realized what you had done.

_Too late now, the monster is out._

Raising your palms back up and feeling the heat growing you started throwing fireballs at the guards, watching as they tried to run and put out the flames that only went out when they died.

You started running down hallways and around corners until you came into a room full of guards, soon they all saw that you were unaccompanied by someone and started coming to surround you.

"If you're not afraid of me now, you will be after I'm done." You said when you couldn't see anything but guards and soldiers around you.

Throwing your arms above you and feeling the flames shooting from your palms, and then swiftly bringing your hands to the floor you instantly heard people screaming.

Looking up from your crouched position with your palms flat on the floor, you saw what looked like waves of flames around you and enveloping anyone around.

You balled your hands up when the last of the screaming stopped and stayed there on your knees just crying.

**What the hell is that?**

Bucky thought to himself as he heard screams coming from the resting hall and headed towards it, stopping for a moment when the screams stopped. 

He resumed his jog towards the hall and when he got closer to the door he smelled something burning, he smelled burnt hair and heard someone crying.

He walked in and was shocked by what he saw, you on the ground surrounded by scorch marks and piles of ash everywhere.

"(Y/n)? Are you alright? What happened?" He asked slowly and softly so not to startle you, you turned around around and had fear in your eyes along with tears on your face.

"I would say it was an accident but it wasn't, I am a monster now and it broke free." You spoke with such a small voice he thought his heart would break.

"Can I come over to you?" He asked softly again to reassure you he meant no harm, when he saw you nod he walked over and knelt beside you.

"Why do you call yourself a monster?" He was genuinely interested in the answer because all he saw was an angel.

"The piles were once people not to long ago, I burned them all without a second thought. I killed all these people plus 7 more."

**That's interesting, who were the other 7 though?**

"What do you mean plus 7?" He asked quietly.

You sniffled and rubbed your hands against your thighs.

"When I first came here there were 6 men that hurt me and were going to hurt me even more, I killed them and it was the first time my power showed. And then my ability instructor shortly after I went in." You had such emotion in your voice and when you mentioned the men, he only could think of one thing they would try to do to a woman.

**Good thing she killed them first.**

He was silent for awhile just running a hand up and down your back, he was trying to think of a way to go about this to make sure you weren't punished. He couldn't come up with a plan.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/n)." He was trying not to cry or let any emotion show through his voice but couldn't help the way it did.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Came a booming voice from the door that made you want to shrink into nothing.

"Sir, I just found her like this and was trying to calm her down." Bucky spoke and you stood up beside him, you saw it was Schmidt and lowered your head.

"You! You torched your instructor and then 60 of my best men! What do you say for yourself?!" He was right in front of you now and was waiting for an answer you didn't have.

_I am so fucked._

"I can't answer that Sir, it was like the flame controlled me." You said with a strong voice but it wavered away as soon as you looked up at him.

He stared at you with anger on his face and then he moved so fast all you felt was pain, pain across your cheek at first and then when you fell it was in your ribs.

He had slapped you and was now kicking the shit out of you, and you couldn't do anything to stop him.

He finally stopped and you turned to your side and started coughing up blood, looking to Bucky with blurry eyes you saw tears in his.

"Take this child to the hospital wing to be taken care of. And then after she has been cleared bring her to the whipping room." He said harshly and with such authority that Bucky couldn't protest.

He carefully lifted you in his arms and carried you around corners, down hallways finally stopping in a white room. 

He spoke in Russian to a woman in a lab coat and placed you in a bed, watching them as they cleaned you and checked for broken ribs or internal bleeding.

"I'm sorry for what you went through and even more so for what your going to go through." He said quietly and only so that you could hear him.

"Thank you but what do you mean?" You asked just as quietly.

"You're going to be whipped for what happened, and since I was the one who found you I may be the one doing it." He was quiet for awhile just looking at his hands.

_Such a beautiful contrast between his tanned hand and his silver metal one._

The nurses said you were okay with no damage done inside, only said that you were going to be bruised and sore for awhile.

He stood and helped you up and then a guard came over with cuffs, only this time they covered your hands forcing you to make fists. They were heavy and you couldn't keep them in front of you, so they hung in front of your waist.

"Переехать." The guard said to you and Bucky and he push you forward gently yet forcefully.

You followed the guard with Bucky beside you until you reached a room that could easily pass as a torture dungeon.

"Leave us, but Soldier you will stay." Schmidt said with only a little bit of anger and more authority.

"I had such hopes for you child, I truly did not want this to ever come here." He said with a sigh and then looked to Bucky.

"Lift her." He said but before he turned away you saw the smile that contradicted what he tried to convey before.

Bucky pulled you to the center of the room and lifted your arms up and connected the cuffs with the hanging hook, he tried to look anywhere but your eyes but failed and you could see he didn't want to do this.

"Fifty lashes is your punishment and my word is final, soldier if you lose count you must start over. Understood?" He said casually and looked up when he didn't get a response.

"Soldier I asked you a question, do you understand?" He said a bit forcefully and sighed when Bucky didn't answer.

"Fair enough. Guards!" He yelled and then when one came in he looked over at Bucky.

"Prep the chair and ready the Soldier, he needs swept again since he cannot remember his place." The guard came over and took Bucky and you saw the murderous look in his eyes.

"Well then child it seems like I get to deliver your punishment." You could hear the smile in his voice and then he went behind you, ripped your shirt open in the back and you drew in a breath.


	5. New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking place a week after the last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm going to start pushing the times up a bit but that means each chapter may be more detailed or longer than normal, need to bring it up to age 18! To get to the good stuff ;)

"Good to see you doctor, it's been awhile." You said without looking away from the ceiling.

"It has been a week since you saw anyone really but it is nice that you are happy to see me." Zola said with a cheery voice and sat down on his chair.

Looking over at him you rolled off of the bed and straight to the floor doing push-ups. 

"Who do I thank for letting me have a social call?" You said with only a small strain in your voice.

You had been doing this every day since your punishment, push-ups and sit-ups and working on your little flames. 

"You can thank me for talking to Schmidt about this, I expressed that you would grow weak if you stayed on a bread and water diet." He said smiling at you while writing on his clip board.

"Thank you for coming by doctor but I highly doubt you just came for a social visit, what brings you?" You said while switching to sit ups and looking at the wall.

"You have new instructors and you will be seeing them after I leave, Schmidt informed me to stress to you about not killing these ones. Apparently it is difficult to find people to work with you, given your powers and now your reputation." He said with a slight chuckle and sipped from his cup.

You sat up and wrapped your arms around your knees and looked at him.

"Instructors? As in plural? What happened to the Soldier?" You asked with a small fear something bad happened to him.

_I hope he didn't get into to much trouble because of me._

"He has been called away to do a mission and won't be back for awhile, don't trouble yourself with trying to get any more details about it." He said casually and then gestured to the other chair.

You narrowed your eyes at him but stood up and walked to the chair, sitting down you saw an omelet, fruit, toast and juice.

"Who is my first instructor then?" You said while putting food onto your fork and bringing it in front of you waiting for him to reply.

"Your physical instructor is just one of the soldiers we have had for a long while, he's a bit older but twice as mean and strict. For your ability instructor it is someone we crossed paths with once who owe a favor." He said after sighing and then he looked at you.

"Please just go to your classes and then behave in them, retaliation will only bring you pain and discomfort." He said but had concern in his voice and a pleading look in his eyes.

You raised your hands in surrender and smiled. "I promise I'll try not to cause any trouble." 

He smiled at you and you both finished eating in silence, after you finished eating you watched as a guard came into the room with the full hand cuffs.

"Don't suppose I can talk you out of needing those?" You said with a light tone and glanced at Zola.

"Do not push your luck dear." He said smiling and walked away.

"Alright then, let's get on with it." You said trying to push yourself into a better attitude.

You arrived at the physical class and saw a man standing tall by the table, he had no expression on his face and just as you were about to say something he stopped you.

"No talking, grab a staff and get into a stance." His voice was hard and if calloused hands had a voice, it would be his.

You walked up to the table and grabbed a wooden staff and turned around, miming the instructor on different positions and then picking the one that was comfortable.

"Begin!" He half yelled and then swung at you, nearly missing your face as you ducked and spun hitting his legs.

He fell and then popped right back up and then charged at you.

_He's going to fucking kill me._

By the end of the lesson you could feel the new bruises forming and he had split your lip open, and your legs hurt from all the running he had you do. 

Walking down the hall to get to your next class you thought about how much you missed Bucky.

"Hello and welcome, I'm going to be your teacher for awhile unless you dispose of me like the last one." You looked up at the man who was speaking and saw he had a smile on his face.

"Not that I think you will but still, it's an ice breaker isn't it?" He said with a sideways smile.

"Where did they find you? A mental health company? Gonna try and make me believe the grass outside is always greener?" You said smile a smile and your voice heavy in sarcasm.

He smiled wide at you and pointed to a wooden statue of a guard. "Throw fire at just his head." He said and looked at you.

You opened your palm and felt the familiar heat and then let it form into a ball, you stared at the empty face of the statue and threw it. 

"Ever do any archery? You'd be very good with an aim like that." He said marking something down a a legal pad and then looking up.

"No, never had the chance and never will again now that I'm trapped here against my will, being forced into a life I didn't want." You dead panned and then looked at him.

He looked at you uncomfortably for a moment and then pointed towards a metal bed frame.

"Melt it, I want to see what damage you can do against other surfaces." He finally said and looked at you waiting.

_Glad I could end the cheery atmosphere. He was getting on my nerves._

You were sitting on the ground passing a flame between your hands and letting it dance around each finger, when he came and sat in front of you.

"Sorry about earlier, sometimes my mouth runs away and I say things that are stupid." He said with a bit a sorrow in his voice.

"It's alright. Do you have anything else today?" You asked trying to change topic.

"Yes, just one last thing. Take the flame in your hand and make it hover." He said looking at your palm.

You tilted your head and looked at him. "What?" You said in confusion.

He looked up at you and smiled. "See how your flame is hovering in your hand, it's not touching your palm. I want you to try and lift it more and see if you can make it hover higher." He said with the smile still on his face.

You furrowed your eyebrows together and looked at the flame, when it just flickered you sighed.

"Don't give up, and don't be mad that you can't do it. Anger doesn't always work and can have a negative side effect, try thinking of something else or someone that makes you happy." He said softly looking back at your flame.

"They other instructor was wanting me to channel anger to do things." You said with a matter of fact tone.

He only shook his head. "Yeah and look where that got her, happiness can be just as good as anger and afterwards you feel better and not worse." He said gently looking into your eyes.

"Okay, I'll try." You hoped this worked, you thought about your mom and dad but that made you feel upset and only made the flame bigger. You shifted thoughts to Bucky and when you both embraced each other, feeling a smile grow on your face you saw the flame lift higher from your palm.

"Very good! I told you you could do it! Lesson is concluded for today and you can practice this in your room later." He was smiling at you and looked very proud.

You smiled wide and put out the flame. "Thank you." You said before you could stop yourself.

"Always looking at the potential in people, you happen to have more than normal." He said happily lifting you up by your hands.

A guard came into the room and put your cuffs on you and started leading you to the door. 

"What's your name?" You asked hoping for a straight answer.

 "Danny. Danny Phantom." He said with a smile and a wink.

The guard let you back towards your cell and you wondered if there was a chance to speak to Zola.

You arrived at your cell and the guard started to unlock your hands. "Can you please ask Doctor Zola to see me?" You asked normally and hoping he said anything.

He didn't.

He undid your cuffs and left, shutting the door behind him with a lot bang.

_That went swimmingly._

you laid on your bed absent mindedly playing with a flame when someone started opening your door.

"You wanted to see me dear?" Zola said as he went to the middle of your room and smiled at you.

"Yes, yes I did." You said sitting up and looking at him.

"I am in desperate need of a shower, please is there any way I can have one?" You asked hopefully with pleasing eyes.

He smiled and waved you to come over. "Your instructors said you behave well today and are progressing in a good way, I see no reason as to why you couldn't be given this." He said as he started waving to a guard.

"I will be escorting her to the shower room, cuffs are not needed. I trust she will behave." He said while he walked with his arm around your shoulder.

 He made small talk with you while you walked and you appreciated the effort but you were dying to stand under running water.

"Okay my dear through this door is the showers, you will find towels and soap and fresh clothes will be waiting for you." He said sweetly and gestured towards the door.

Nodding your thanks you walked in and you saw the most amazing thing ever, yes it was just standard open area showers like a locker room but it was a shower.

Turning on the water to your favorite temperature you shed your clothes and stepped under the water, it was an amazing feeling just letting the water wash away everything.

You looked down and saw the water running red brown and you felt your body heat up, the heat you have off plus the water caused steam to lift off of you.

Trying to calm down you started singing and gave yourself a distraction, after what felt like hours you turned off the water and stepped towards a mirror.

Scars were all over your body along with blue purple bruises, turning around you saw more and sighed.

Feeling a tear skip from your eyes you looked away and saw the towels and wrapped yourself up, you walked towards the door and saw Zola with his back facing you.

"Clothes please?" You asked and smiled when he jumped slightly.

"Yes of course dear, here you go." He said and turn his body toward you but kept his face straight.

You took the clothes and thanked him before turning back into the room, putting the clothes on you felt much better and slightly more relaxed.

_I can't let myself ruin this, if I do this right I may get a shower everyday._

You sighed and walked back to the doctor and smiled as you took his arm.

"You look much better dear, you look refreshed." He said smiling. "I've called a nurse to your room to bring you a brush and hair ties." You looked back up at him and smiled again.

"Thank you." You said with genuine emotion.

_Things are going to be better._


	6. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month after you have been taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took awhile to get this chapter out! I've been really busy but hopefully things get back on track.

You were laying in bed staring at the ceiling and playing with your little flames when a thought invaded your mind.

_I wonder when I can see him again._

Trying to not think of Bucky has only made you miss him more, you hadn't seen him since that day and you started to worry.

Your thoughts became disrupted when you heard a knock and then the door opening.

"Zola, good to see you. What brings you this time?" You said getting up and smiling at him.

"My dear today is a special day and that means that after your classes you will have a surprise here." He said happily and held his arms out to you.

Walking over you grabbed them and he smiled, with you smiling back. This had become your weird 'hug' since that day he let you shower.

"A surprise? What for?" You asked with interest and tilting your head slightly.

He just shook his head and waved to the guard who brought in the breakfast, you stared at him waiting for some kind of answer but one never came.

After a rather quiet breakfast and a walk to the first room, you were now standing still while the instructor tied a blindfold over your eyes.

"Some situations you will not be able to see your target, you will have to depend on using your ears. Use your staff to block my attacks and listen." He said firmly with a slight teacher voice.

You stayed still eyes blocked just listening to his breathing and light taps his feet made, your back felt like air was blowing over it and you swung around and blocked.

It went on like this for about an hour and you could feel the bruises instantly forming whenever he hit you, he hit you one last time on the back before you could block and then he stopped and removed the blindfold.

"Very good, you have good instincts. Remember to use them at all times. Now, let's switch to regular attack and block." 

He came at you full charge and you sparred for another half hour, attempting to block and strike him you slowly started to tire.

You were getting ready to leave when your instructor came up to you.

"Well you did okay this session and even landed a nice blow to my leg but tomorrow we need to see improvement." He half smiled and briefly touched his hand to your shoulder and walked away.

_That was... Weird._

He still hasn't allowed you to speak to him yet but that is the weirdest thing he's done.

Walking with your guard you sighed and asked him about his day, he didn't answer but still you thought it was nice to ask.

Just before you walked into the room you turned to him. 

"See you later Kevin!" You said smiling and started to walk away when you heard him sigh.

"Ivan. My name is Ivan." He said roughly and quietly and you almost didn't catch it but you turned back to him.

"Okay, I'll see you soon. Ivan." You smiled at him and he turned away. Smiling as you walked into class you looked at your instructor.

"What are you teaching me today Danny?" You said as you stood by one of the iron desks.

"Well I wanted to see if you could do something different." He said slyly and winked at you.

"And what would that be?" You said confused by his behavior.

He turned and brought out a stove heated popcorn tray.

"Grab this by the handle and heat it up without direct fire. I want to see if you can burn without flames." He said holding it out for you.

"Okay." You said slowly reaching for the handle and grabbing it, you made your palm heat up but wouldn't let a flame be conjured.

Slowly you started hearing the familiar popping noises and the foil top start puffing up.

Smiling as you handed it back to him you did a little happy dance and looked back at him as he was bringing out a large bowl.

"Popcorn?" He said holding it out to you with a smile.

"I'm not sure if I am allowed, Schmidt approves everything I eat and I haven't been verbally approved for this." You said slowly and starting to think this itself was a test.

He nodded and smiled and then looked towards the door and you followed his gaze.

Your eyes widened as you saw Zola and Schmidt standing there with smiling faces.

"Very good dear, you passed that test. You have seem to have come to an understanding of things around here, it has also come to my attention that you are exceeding in your classes." Schmidt said smiling at you and looking to Zola. 

Zola looked back to you and smiled.

"We have come to congratulate you on your process and also to celebrate with you." He said looking behind him and gesturing.

You thought for a moment what could be worth celebrating and then it clicked.

_Oh no, I completely forgot about this._

In came a few soldiers with tables and chairs and then some with food and you turned to Danny.

He just smiled and walked passed you putting the popcorn on the table and taking a seat, turning slowly back around you saw your other instructor as well.

"Wow, is this for me?" You said looking at the amazing dinner that had been set out.

Everyone smiled and nodded, motioning you to take a seat.

You looked around as you did and realized the only person you told was...

"Ahh there you are soldier, and not a moment to late." Schmidt said as he walked in.

"Bucky?" You said softly as you looked at him. 

He stopped and shook his head lightly as if telling you not to say that, and walked in placing a cake in the middle.

He sat down next to you and you forced yourself not to stare until people started eating and then you put food on your plate.

You were eating rice with duck meat when you suddenly felt a hand on your thigh, peaking a glance at Bucky you saw him smile slightly and kept eating. 

The others were talking about random things in Russian until they noticed you trying to participate and went back to English.

"I've heard you are doing well in the reports from your instructors, that is very good to hear. Maybe soon you can start having a free time to do something else." Schmidt said looking at you.

"Yes that would be great, I was wondering if I would be learning Russian." You said and smiled when you saw the others at the table did as well.

"Of course dear! We will be teaching you many things, languages will be one of them." Schmidt said as he went back to eating.

_Wait..._

"Languages? As in more than one?" You asked worriedly.

"Of course! We all speak many different ones, when you are ready we will be sending you out on missions and you'll need to know the language." He said nonchalantly.

You could feel the heat building through you at the thought of them using you as a weapon, you were failing at trying to keep your anger in check.

You closed your eyes and tried to breathe but it wasn't working and then Danny spoke to you. 

"Why don't you demonstrate for our leader what you have accomplished so far?" You looked at him and he had a knowing look in his eyes.

"Yes please show me what you can do when you have control." Schmidt said with a happy tone.

You smiled and then blinked releasing all the built up fear and rage, successfully melting all the metal props in the room and melting part of the glass window.

You looked up from the table at Schmidt and saw him looking wide eyed at the room.

" Very impressive, glad to see that you have learned to control what is burned. I'd hate to lose any more soldiers." He said smiling and then turning to Zola.

_I would love to burn him and run._

**This woman is amazing.**

Bucky was looking at you but you weren't paying attention to him, he stared at your half covered face and felt like you lit the fire in his heart.

**Who is this woman and how have I missed seeing her.**

His mind was still foggy and he felt like he knew you before but couldn't place it, he had his hand on your thigh earlier but didn't know what made him do that.

 Something about this girl was different and beautiful, he heard her say the name he hears in his nightmares so he had to have known her.

**If only I could remember how I know this beautiful woman.**


	7. Growing Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months after your surprise birthday you and Bucky are training together again and the feelings are coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope you all like this chapter! I may have miscalculated the starting age of the reader but we will work through this! Please don't leave or hate me ?  
> Oh and let me know if you like the way the chapters are set up compared to the first one
> 
> Мой русский не очень хорош- My Russian is not very good.

Training with him didn't restart until almost a month after you saw him again, when you got the news from Zola you had been thrilled.

The first day was weird and you could tell something was up, he just kept looking at you like it was for the first time. 

He asked you how you knew about his name and that's when you realized something happened to him, you thought about what Schmidt had said that day.

_He needs swept._

The words still hasn't you to this day and you hope you never need to be 'swept'.

Days turned to weeks and you were becoming very good at fighting and your magic, they had started you with learning Russian and that was challenging but you didn't leave class with bruises.

Weeks turned to months and you barely noticed the change, things had become so easy flowing and simple.

Zola still came twice a day for breakfast and dinner, and sometimes Schmidt came along to ask how you were adjusting and to quiz you.

Bucky and you were becoming very close again and sometimes he would end training and just talk with you.

Today he had just ended the training because you hit him pretty hard.

"Look I said I'm sorry Bucky, I didn't think I would actually hit you." You said some what sarcastically.

"It's alright doll, I just feel like you have a handle on things now." He said smiling at you and reaching for a bottle of water.

He took a drink of one and handed it out to you while reaching for another one, and looked up when you didn't take it.

"Something wrong?" He asked with concern.

 You were distracted by the way his biceps flexed when he held out his arm and was caught off guard with his question.

"No sorry, nothing's wrong just thinking." You said quickly and reached for the bottle but he pulled it away.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked raising a brow and smirking.

"Just stuff..." You said looking away from him and shrugging.

"Uh huh sure." He said and you could see his smile without looking at him.

"It's nothing, really it's just girl stuff." You said trying to play it cool even though he could see through it.

He smirked again and looked down as he handed out the bottle again.

You took it and happily drank while trying to find a way to change the direction of conversation.

"How's your Russian?" He asked suddenly seeming a bit uncomfortable in the silence.

"Мой русский не очень хорош." You said slowly trying not to mess up and looked over to see him smiling.

"Very good, pronunciation needs a bit of work but it's good." He said smiling and looked away but you saw the blush on his cheeks.

You smiled and looked into the water bottle.

**I never thought this language could sound so beautiful coming from someones lips.**

"I should probably get you to your next class." He said somewhat sadly and you looked at him.

_I wish he was my next class._

These thoughts kept taking over your mind and you had no idea how to stop them, they invaded your thoughts all day and your dreams at night.

He gestured to the door and walked out with you, your train of thought going to the dean you had last night.

_You were sparring together and things started getting intense as you traded blows, he winked at you and you were momentarily distracted and he flipped you to the ground._

_"That's cheating." You said panting out of breath._

_"Never underestimate your opponent and what they might do." He said with a smile and then he looked into your eyes._

_He took his hand and cupped it behind your neck and pulled you close, his eyes closed and brought your lips to his._

_He was so gentle and passionate at the same time and his lips were so soft, you reached your hand into his hair and pulled him even closer._

_"We should stop." He said starting to pull away._

_"Do you really want to?" You asked hopefully, hoping he said no and just went back to your mouth._

_He looked at your face and stared into your (e/c) eyes._

_"No, but that doesn't mean we should do this." He said with a strain in his voice, like it was taking everything just to stop kissing you._

_"Please Bucky, kiss me again." You pleaded softly._

_He didn't even answer and went straight to your mouth only moving away for air, you gasped when he moved to your neck and sucked between your neck and shoulder._

_"Bucky." His name slipped through your mouth and he bit slightly and then ran his tongue over it._

_"Say it again." He said roughly and slightly muffled by your neck._

_"Bucky. Bucky I need you please?" You moaned and wrapped your arms around him._

_He growled against your chest as he moved down and took small bites near your breasts._

"(Y/n)? We're here." His voice startled you from your thoughts and you could feel the blush on your face.

"What were you thinking about? I was trying to talk to you the whole walk here and you just stared ahead of us." He asked curiously and tilted his head.

You felt the blush go even redder and felt the warmth across your chest.

"Nothing, I gotta go." You said dashing into the open doorway and trying to calm yourself.

**That woman is up to no good, at least I'm gonna be there with her.**

He thought as he smiled and walked away, leaving you and going to be alone with his thoughts.

**I can't get her out of my head.**


	8. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry the last chapter was short but I wanted at least something out. This chapter will be a somewhat introduction into something planned for a later chapter.
> 
> Прогуляться.-Take a walk.

_Laying in your bed with your hands above your head just staring at the ceiling, noises coming from the door made you roll onto your side and wonder who was there._

_Muffled words from behind the door and then it opened revealing Bucky still talking to the guard._

_"Прогуляться." He said with authority and stared down the guard. They continued to stare for a moment before the guard walked away._

_He entered your room and shut the door behind him and turned back to look at you and smile._

_"Bucky? What are you doing here?" You asked sitting up and tilting your head._

_He didn't say anything and just walked over to you slowly before dropping to his knees in front of you._

_He reached his hands up and placed the right one on the side of your neck before placing the other on your left hip._

_"Bucky?" You asked a little breathlessly and sighed into his touch._

_He smiled at you and leaned forward bringing his face to yours, his lips hovering above yours for a moment before they met._

_It was perfect. Him holding you and gently kissing you, you felt your hands leave your side and one went to meet his on your neck and the other in his hair._

_You pulled on his hair a little to roughly and his mouth opened while a low growl escaped._

_He flipped you so you were laying down underneath him and he quickly pressed his mouth to yours._

_You felt a cold chill run down your spine as his metal fingers stroked across your exposed stomach._

_He stopped and laid his forehead against yours and breathed heavily._

_"Do you want to stop?" He asked and seemed to have to force himself not to move without your word._

_Your heart was pounding in your chest and your breath came in pants. "No, please don't stop."_

_That's all he seemed to need before his hand went under your shirt and his mouth crashed to yours again._

_You felt your nipples harden at his cool touch and arched your back into him as his mouth opened and traced your lip with his tongue._

_You opened your lips to him and let him dominate your mouth as he took you down with him._

_He moved away from your mouth and went to your neck and he rubbed your nipple between two cold fingers._

_You felt your body becoming very hot despite his cool touch and felt the heat coursing through your skin._

_It was like pure fire in your veins as he gently bit and sucked on your neck, you felt the heat building through yourself and couldn't control it._

Loud knocking woke you and you looked over and saw Zola standing there. 

You went to speak but then his eyes widened and he ran out shouting the word 'Fire' in Russian.

You got up quickly and looked at your bed and saw you were previously laying on a bed of red flames.

 You moved to the other side of your room and watched as soldiers came in and put the fire out.

You heard Schmidt talking and quickly put your head down.

"Of course I came down to see why a fire had been started without previous knowledge." He said as if whoever he was talking to should've known.

He came in and looked at the bed and then you felt his eyes on you.

"What happened here?" He asked with fake concern.

"I had a nightmare, I didn't know I could set fires in my sleep." You said loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough to yell.

Over the time you've been here you've learned a few things and Schmidt, you learned to never seem to 'out rank' him. 

The last time it happened he had said something to you and you made a sarcastic comment, two weeks solitary and a spray down with freezing water every other day later, you learned to never do it again.

He seemed to think about something before speaking. 

"I'll be speaking with Danny about this to see if he had any insights, for now you'll be placed in a new cell." He said the last part as if he was doing you a favor.

"Thank you sir." You said looking up at him briefly.

_I am ever so grateful for a damn cell._

Zola walked with you to the shower room and handed you some clothes, thanking him before shutting the door and thinking about needing more 'private' time.

You stood under the running water like it was a waterfall and watched at the steam floated above, you thought back to your dream and sighed.

_If only..._

You started washing your hair and was still amazed at how long it had become, once it was at your shoulders and now? Now it was almost to your waist.

You put the conditioner in and pulled it up to keep it out of the water and started getting ready to wash your body, reaching for the little wash cloth on the pile you heard something hit the floor.

Peeking out again you saw a little blue razor.

"Sweet Jesus thank you Zola." You gasped and quickly grabbed it and began shaving your legs and armpits. 

Before you left the shower you had shaved everything that needed it and started unfolding your clothes to find a hidden pair of scissors...

\---------------------------------------

Walking towards the new cell with Zola you chatted about different things and how you were doing in your classes.

He held his arm out when you reached the cell.

"After you my lady." He said with a smile and bowed slightly.

Laughing lightly at his theatrics you walked in and instantly felt happy.

There was a twin size bed and a small end table with a beautiful candle holder like from beauty and the beast, there was a small dresser and a bathroom with a shower.

Much better than the thin mattress you had before. 

"Are you the person behind this?" You asked looking back with a smile.

He nodded and smiled back.

"Yes and also from your instructors. They have all said you have been doing well and learning fast, they may have convinced Schmidt that this was an acceptable thing." He said softly.

 You smiled and looked around and sat down on the bed.

"Will my classes continue today?" You asked somewhat hoping the answer was no so you could just relax for the day.

He shook his head. "Schmidt has something planned for you with Danny today to try and keep... What happened from happening again."

You stood and held out your arm to him. "Would you mind to accompany me on my walk today?" You asked with a smile.

He took your arm and led you out.

You met with Danny first and smiled as you walked in.

"So I hear my favorite firestarter had a nightmare and set her bed on fire." He said looking up at you.

"Yeah let's go with nightmare." You said somewhat to yourself hoping he didn't press further.

"If not a nightmare than wha..?" He started but trailed off.

He looked back up at you and half smiled. "Ohh I see." He said with a wink.

_Of course he knew._

"Okay well in order to try and teach a good way to calm yourself down I need to know what it felt like. Not the... You know but, what did you feel before you woke up?" He asked trying not to make things awkward.

_Too fucking late it was already awkward with him knowing what you were actually dreaming of._

"Well it's like when I am concentrated and set a flame, I felt warm but then it was like I had liquid fire in my veins and like I was going to burn up." You said knowing that he was your friend and someone who understands.

 He looked at you and nodded before writing something down onto his legal pad and then looked at you.

"Schmidt wants me to try and teach you an alternative method while you're dreaming so this doesn't happen again." He said and the sighed heavily and rubbed his neck.

"The thing is, it's something that will take awhile and not just one session." He said softly and then looked down.

You chewed on your lip thinking of how many times you could set your room on fire before they gave up and made you sleep on the floor.

"So how do we go about this then?" You asked slowly trying to keep the fear out.

"Well we could try something I have in mind but I need to speak with the boss about it first, you won't like it though." He said after awhile.

You nodded and he came towards you and touched your shoulder as he walked with you back towards the guard waiting.

"It will get better soon." He said but you couldn't hear any commitment in the promise.

_Something bad is coming._


	9. Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny said that he had an idea you wouldn't like, honestly after everything that's already happened how bad can this be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Женщина, которая может есть, хорошая женщина.=A woman who can eat, is a good woman.
> 
> Человек, который ценит желудок женщин, живет долгой жизнью=A man who appreciates the stomach of women, lives a long life.
> 
> Баки, это я. Ты знаешь, кто я, посмотри на меня! Ты знаешь меня!=Bucky, it's me. You know who I am, look at me! You know me!
> 
> У всех есть шрамы.=Everyone has scars.

"YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?!" You screamed so loud you thought another country could hear you.

"I told you that you wouldn't like it (Y/n), I never said this was easy." Danny said a little breathlessly.

He was currently hiding behind his desk as you set fire and burned everything in the room.

You took a deep breath as you looked for one more thing to burn, anything and found you had left nothing from your anger.

_Well, there is one thing left..._

"I would move quickly if I were you Danny." You breathed and barely waited until he was out of the way before melting his iron desk.

You fell to the ground and sighed, burying your head in your hands.

You heard his feet shuffle towards you and then he crouched, placing a hand on your back.

"I can't promise that everything will be okay, but I'll try to be there for you the when I can." He spoke softly while rubbing small circles on your back.

Taking a deep breath in you turned to look at him.

"Okay." You whispered.

He helped you stand and walked you to the door where Zola was waiting.

It was a quiet walk to your room and he sighed when you reached the door.

"I would like to join you for dinner tonight and then I shall be escorting you to the observation room." He said with a small smile but had a pain in his eyes.

"I would love for you to join me tonight." You said with a smile and turned into the room.

Flopping down onto the bed with a big exhale and rolling onto your side.

_I wish I could just go home._

 Dinner started about an hour later and Zola came knocking and had a smile when you opened the door.

"What has you so happy?" You asked skeptically and went to shut the door but there was a block.

"I was invited as a guest, I hope you don't mind." Bucky said quietly and quickly looked away from your eyes.

_Well fuck._

You shook your head no and gestured him inside.

"What's for dinner tonight?" You asked going to your chair and found Bucky pulling it out for you and pushing in it when you sat down.

"I called for something rather special, I won't be eating it with you because I don't eat it." He said with his smile growing bigger.

A guard knocked and entered with trays covered with silver domes.

You smelled it as soon as it was close to you. 

"Steak?" You asked excitedly.

The dome was removed and there was a beautiful sirloin steak, little red potatoes, and green beans.

"Just to forewarn you, I will not be very lady-like while I eat this." You said around the drool you could feel forming.

They both just chuckled and shook their heads. 

"Женщина, которая может есть, хорошая женщина." Bucky said quietly with a small smile.

You snuck a sideways glance at his remark.

"Человек, который ценит желудок женщин, живет долгой жизнью." You said before putting another fork full into your mouth.

You heard Zola chuckle and turned towards him.

"Your Russian is perfect, I assume you will be finished with the course soon?" He asked and had a bit of fatherly pride when he said the first part.

"Yes, the instructor says I will be finished by the end of the week. I haven't been told what I will be taught next though." You asked with the hope he would tell you.

"That is for Schmidt to decide, I suspect he will teach you what this soldier knows since he wants you to join him on missions." He said waving his hand in a nonchalant way.

You slowly nodded and turned towards Bucky slightly.

"So, Soldier, what languages do you speak?" You asked with full curiosity.

He placed his fork down and looked to Zola as if asking for permission to tell you.

When Zola nodded once Bucky cleared his throat and spoke.

"I speak English, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Russian, Latin, and Japanese, and I can understand French." He said as if listing off a report.

It was weird hearing him speak like, well... like a soldier. You sat there for a moment and took in his posture, his breathing, the way his eyes set on something in front of him. It was as if he was expecting someone to give him orders.

"You can understand French but not speak it?" You asked inquisitively.

He looked over at you and you smiled gently at him and was relieved he smiled back.

"Yes, I've been meaning to pick it up again but haven't had the time or opportunity." He said while looking away from you.

_Did he just blush?_

"Well, maybe when and if I learn it, you could join me." You said while looking down at your plate and finding it nearly empty.

Poking at the last potato you turned back to Zola. "Perhaps we should move on from dinner, I want to get this over with." You said with just a small amount of hope that this little experiment wasn't going to be a sick punishment.

He nodded and motioned for Bucky to stand and when he did he pulled out your chair and offered his hand, that damningly beautiful metal hand.

"Thank you, good sir!" You said sarcastically, slightly giggling while trying to conceal a blush.

He smiled at you and when you stood he offered his arm out to you with a dramatic bow. "May I offer my assistance with escorting this lovely lady to her next room?" He said with equal sarcasm and a big grin.

You took his arm and turned to Zola. "Thank you for dinner Zola, it was wonderful. Now, if you would excuse me it seems I have a gentlemen caller here to be my guide." You said while trying not to laugh and almost lost it when both men did laugh.

"But of course my dear, I wouldn't stop you from having a night out on the town." Zola said and with such genuine enjoyment, you wondered if this is the first time in awhile he has experienced it.

While walking Bucky kept rubbing his thumb over your knuckles with his flesh hand and making small talk. 

"So, how are you feeling about this?" He asked softly trying not to make a big deal about it.

You took a deep breath and sighed while rubbing your neck with your free hand. "Honestly? I'm not looking forward to it, I mean, who would actually think this was anything but a torture technique?" You said with a shudder.

He seemed to think for awhile and then finally spoke. "I can actually think of something much worse than this and even though I can't tell you why I know about it, I can say that I hope you never have to do it."

The way he spoke was like he was haunted by whatever they have done to him, it equally broke your heart and made you care more.

"Where were you born?" You asked trying to change the subject and forget about it.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Indiana but grew up in Brooklyn." He said and though it wasn't exactly what you expected, you let it go since it seemed like it was painful to talk about.

You wanted to ask him how long he has been here but felt like he would say something off like 'too long' or 'a long time'...

''So, you're gonna be 17 soon. just a few months right?" He said and you let it slide that he changed the topic.

"Yeah, can't really believe I've been here for this long... Can I ask you something and have you promise to be honest?" You said, hoping he could calm your nerves.

He nodded and put his hand over his heart, you caught his blush before he looked away. "When I first got here they said I was too young for something and that it would happen when I turned 18, what are they gonna do to me?" You asked hoping he didn't notice the way you seemed to make yourself smaller.

He turned and looked at you, he brought his hand up to touch your chin and then he sighed. He didn't speak for a moment but when he did you thought his eyes looked a little red.

"Remember that thing I mentioned that was worse than this? I can't tell you what it is and I'm sorry you have to go through it." He said before leaning down and kissing the top of your head and bowing. 

He started to walk away as you watched him go and when he turned his head to look back at you, you almost ran towards him but didn't when he kept walking.

Turning with a sigh you looked into the room in front of you and groaned.

There was a man in a lab coat standing by a bed writing on a clipboard and motioned you over when he saw you.

"There are clothes in the room over there, you must change and come back in here." He spoke, no, he ordered you.

You couldn't believe this was happening and walked over to change and found that it was actually an almost see through hospital gown.

_Well, this is just a lovely Vera Wang piece isn't it?_

You walked back over to the bed and sat down waiting for the doctor or nurse to come over.

"Name?" You heard come from beside you, it was a gentle yet strong female voice.

You turned momentarily to look at her and then said your name.

"No no, your given name." She said with a tone you couldn't read, maybe annoyance?

"Oh, uh sorry. The Summer Solstice." You said and could actually taste the strangeness of saying it.

She wrote a few things down and then motioned you to lay down and started cleaning your arm with an alcohol pad. 

"This will sting momentarily but like a mosquito bite." She said trying to make you feel better about the ugly needle heading for your vein.

You bit your lip as she set up the I.V and waited for someone to say something to you about what would happen next but instead, you saw that they had started the drip, you went to ask what it was but found yourself numb and quickly falling asleep. 

_You were dreaming, you knew this much but also couldn't remember how you got here. You were standing in front of a door and when you tried looking around all you saw was stones, like the walls here that seemed underground. Should I knock or just go in? You thought to yourself and before you could actually decide on what to do, the door opened and inside looked like a bedroom._

_"Anyone in here?" You asked hoping you could figure something out from someone. Hell, at this point you would listen to a talking mouse._

_You heard a shuffle behind you and when you turned around you saw him looking down at a book in his hands, He hadn't noticed you yet and was just sort of 'auto-pilot' walking. He walked in and shut his door and moved toward the desk and when he got to it, he set the book down and started taking his jacket off._

_You were frozen in place, captivated by his movements. You couldn't take your eyes off of him and just watched as he moved his arms, his strong arms with muscles for days. He stopped and you saw him tense up and then he swiftly turned around and before you could blink, you were pinned to the wall._

_"Что ты здесь делаешь?" He almost yelled into your face. His eyes were distant and far away and you could tell he actually didn't know you._

  _"Баки, это я. Ты знаешь, кто я, посмотри на меня! Ты знаешь меня!"_    _You pleaded hoping to break whatever trance he was in before you passed out from his grip._

_He stared at you for a moment and then you saw his eyes shift and he was himself again and let you go only to hold you close in an embrace, whispering his 'I'm sorries' into your hair. You pulled back to look at him and smiled gently._

_"Are you okay (y/n)? Fuck, I'm so sorry I did that to you." He said in a hushed tone and it sounded like he was about to cry._

_You nodded and quietly shushed him and just held onto him for awhile, you felt him start to rub up and down your back and then he stopped and leaned away from you._

_Gingerly grabbing your face with his metal hand he ran his thumb over your cheek and just stared into your eyes, he seemed to be studying your face before finally, he spoke._

_"You sure you're okay?" He said tilting your head up to look at your sore neck._

_"I'll live." You said with a smile and batted his hand away from poking you._

_"It might bruise, but it shouldn't be that bad. I'm sure no one will think anything other than a training mishap." He said with a small smile and kept trying to lift your neck to look at it, you gave up and let him tilt your head back and instead of fingertips, you felt lips._

_He was running his lips across your neck and collarbone again, letting his tongue slip out every so often. You could feel the blush on your chest and face but didn't care, you wanted him to keep going. He traveled up the side of your neck and to your ear, gently biting your lobe and then kissing your jaw and stopping at your lips._

_"Bucky." You whispered but with a heavy breath and pulled him closer._

_Your lips touched and it sent an electric feeling through you making you want him more, you don't know when he stood but you couldn't feel the ground anymore. You soon felt a soft mattress underneath you and then he pulled away, reaching out for him made him smile and then he took off the shirt he was wearing before realizing you could now see where his arm and shoulder met._

_"Hey, come here." You said barely above a whisper and tried to pull him back towards you._

_He sat down and looked at you, he kept his eyes on you as you moved your hand up and ghosted over the scarred flesh._

_"У всех есть шрамы." You said and then you leaned up and kissed the joining of metal and skin._

_Before you could move again he was pushing you down and kissing your neck, it felt so good to feel him pressed against you. Felt so amazing to touch him and to be here, you let yourself get lost and started pulling his hair. He growled against your chest and lifted your shirt up over your head, looking up at you through thick lashes and waiting for you to say something._

_"I'll tell you if I want you to stop but right now, please just touch me." You moaned and that was all it took for him._

_He went to your belly-button and started a wet trail of kisses up to your ribs and licked between your breasts, he moved his hand to the outside of your right one while his mouth kissed around the flesh. His cold metal hand feeling so good against your skin and combined with his hot breath was orgasmic, and when his tongue flicked over your nipple you almost screamed. His other hand massaged your breast while the metal one caressed up and down your side, roaming down to your outer thigh every so often._

_You were moaning his name and pulling his hair and everything was just so hot, so damn hot. You were sweating and breathing so heavily it felt like your body was on fire, and then it was replaced._

_**Pain.** _

_**Cold.** _

_**Acid.** _

You screamed so loud it felt like your throat was raw, you were tied down to the bed and couldn't move. They probably thought you would hurt yourself, or someone else.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?!" You couldn't stop screaming, it felt like ice was rushing through your veins and acid was following it. 

It felt like your skin was instantly freezing and then melting all over again, the process was repeating itself over and over again. Scream after scream you begged them to stop but no one stopped, eventually it died down and you passed out into a dreamless sleep.

When you woke you were tired and cold and in pain, you tried sitting up and found yourself still strapped down. You opened your mouth to speak but found a thick bite guard trapped between your teeth.

 _Well, that's equally unpleasant and disturbing._  

You focused your heat into your arm to try and burn the restraint off so you could move but as soon as it started to singe the material, you heard a whirring and then a hiss of compressed air.

_What the hell?_

Before you could think or even twitch you felt the pain all over again, the scream built up in your throat and the only sound to come out was a high pitched groan around the guard. Your body was freezing and melting over and over again, you closed your eyes shut and let the tears flow from them while you laid there helplessly. By the end of it, you were numb and couldn't bring yourself to move or even open your eyes. A familiar set of voices came within earshot and you tried to call for help.

"You just left her in there alone?! What were you thinking?!" You couldn't tell who was speaking but they sounded pissed.

"Oh my dear, oh this is awful." There was pain in this voice and he was fighting back anger.

You felt the restraints moving off of your skin and then someone sat you up, you felt a pull on your mouth and guessed they were trying to remove the guard.

"I don't think it's gonna come out, it seems like she may have melted it enough to bite into it. I think her teeth are stuck in the plastic." A different more familiar voice said.

You opened your eyes and saw Bucky standing in front of you trying to look at the guard, he touched your cheek to do something and your body was expecting pain.

You held your breath and waited for it but slowly came back to realizing you were now awake.

"What the hell did you do to her?" He asked the doctor who was silent.

"We set up an intravenous line and linked it to a core temperature scanner, so whenever her core temperature reached 106.7 degrees it injected her. It was supposed to train her body to stop building heat." He said defensively and waited for someone else to speak.

Slowly you tapped Bucky on the shoulder and gestured for him to grab the guard.

"It's stuck, you melted it to your jaw." He said confused.

You looked down and saw the IV still in your arm so you tried to tell him to get it out. Pointing to it and then motioning it to be removed, he caught on and told the doctor to remove it and then looked back at you.

"So you think you can get this out?" He said pointing at your mouth and even though you were in pain and tired a dirty thought still surfaced.

You nodded a held up 10 fingers and put one finger down at a time showing him after that to pull, he caught on a counted out loud.

When he started counting you moved your focus to the plastic, not enough to incinerate it but enough to let it pull away from your teeth. By the time he got to 1 it was more than ready to come out. He pulled and it eased out like a slime but still sturdy, he put it down and started rubbing your bone that connects your jaw.

"Don't ask why I know this helps but it just does." He said quietly and eventually, your jaw started to relax enough to close.

You opened and closed your mouth a few times and then tried to speak when no sound came out he walked away and grabbed his bag. Reaching inside he grabbed a water bottle and opened it, taking a small drink before handing it to you. You drank the whole bottle down before he could put his arm down.

"That's a bit better, still sore and feels like I have a block but still..." You said coarsely remembering when you and a friend went to a concert and woke up the next morning with no voices and whip-lash.

 He looked at you worriedly and then turned back to the doctor standing there reading over one of the print-outs from a machine, it looked like he wanted to yell at the man some more but he just looked down shaking his head.

"It's remarkable... They way your body reacted to the injection is unlike anything I've seen. Yes, you must've felt pain but after the first administered dose you woke up. It seems like you fell back asleep but, two other doses were added while sleeping and you showed no signs of activity. Before we came in you had woken up correct?" The doctor said looking at you and waiting.

"Y-yes I did, I woke up and tried to burn the restraints so I could get off the table." You said slowly feeling like your throat had turned to sandpaper.

The doctor shook his head and slightly smiled.

_He's a fucking psychopath._

"That triggered the last dose and you reacted to it but, your body started to fight against it. It's almost like your body was adapting to the injection and was accepting it as a part of your system." He said with a slightly excited voice and looked from you to the paper and back.

"Wait, so you're telling me I may have yet another fucking mutation in my genes that allows my body to adapt to stuff?" You said in disbelief. 

"Yes that is exactly what I am suggesting, I have to document this and report to Schmidt. He'll want to know about this right away." He went to collect the papers from the other machines and then before he could rush out the lab Bucky spoke up.

"Wait!" He called after the white-coat who beelined for the door, turning around and looking at him waiting for him to finish.

"You don't think he will want to attempt... "It" yet do you?" Bucky asked slowly and slightly stepping towards the doctor.

"I actually think he will once he sees the findings, he may want to conduct another experiment to see how far it goes beforehand but yes, he may push for "It" to happen sooner than later." The doctor replied and rushed out the door.

 Bucky looked to Zola who was standing there with his mouth slightly opened like he couldn't believe what was just said.

"What are you talking about? What is "It"? Why do you guys look like the world just ended?" You asked and was waiting on either one of them to reply but they started talking quietly to each other.

_Well, that kinda pisses me off._

"Excuse me? Anyone care to acknowledge my existence?" You asked raising your voice a bit and growling when they ignored you still.

_Jesus Fucking Christ._

You closed your eyes and then focused on the machine beside them and when they opened, it had melted and started beeping dementedly. They slowly turned and looked at the machine and then to you. 

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" You said lightly as if the machine didn't just melt.

They looked at each other and then Bucky walked away and started pacing and muttering to himself while Zola came up to you.

"I fear that you may be subjected to something that shouldn't be taken lightly, it is the same thing the Winter Soldier underwent when we got him." He said heavily, somewhat ashamed.

You thought for a moment and then everything came back, like puzzle pieces.

_The time he stood up for me and was "wiped" and when I saw him again and he seemed not to know who I was, why he sometimes disappears for days or weeks._

"How long has the soldier been here?" You asked slowly and full of concern for yourself and Bucky.

He thought for a moment before sighing and rubbing the back of his head.

"He's been with us for twenty years." He said after a moment.

_Twenty? Twenty fucking years?_

"He doesn't look a day over twenty-one?" You said and kind of phrasing it as a question.

Zola looked at the still pacing Bucky and sighed.

"You'll have to ask him if he wants to speak about it, I cannot divulge his life as if it were my own." He said and started to walk away and looking back at Bucky.

"Soldier? You will escort her back to her room when you both are ready, depending on Schmidts' final word we may send you to retrieve her." He said solemnly and walking out of the room.

Bucky had stopped pacing and let out a shuddered sigh, looking up at you with red-rimmed eyes.

"I'm so sorry (y/n), I'm so fucking sorry." He whispered as you walked over to him.

You moved his hair from his face and dried his eyes. "What's gonna happen to me Bucky?" You asked just as quietly.

He shuddered out a sigh again and looked into your eyes. "Something I wish I could protect you from." He said and then he did something unexpected yet, welcome.

He placed his metal hand on your waist and pulled you close as his other hand came up to tilt your chin towards him, he slowly leaned in and then hovered above your lips like he was waiting for permission.

"Bucky, please?" You half whispered and half moaned. That was all he seemed to need and then he was pressing his mouth against yours gently.

You wanted to throw your arms around his neck and pull him onto the bed but he pulled back before you lost control. 

"We should go." He said somewhat reluctantly and led you back to your room.


	10. Not a chapter

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile but this story seems to have escaped me, I have just started working again and taking care of a 7 month old alone had really cut into my writing time... I'm not sure when or if I will continue this, I will leave this update until I have decided or am able to continue. As always I love everyone that reads this and hope you all the best valentines day.


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